Things that go s-s-s-s-s-s in the night (Encore)

9/10/2004 The latest incident here at Prairie House was enough to make me reconsider the wisdom of leaving the noise, crowds, pollution, traffic and expenses of big city life behind. The kittens (still haven't given those little stinkers away) were playing with a brown paper bag tonight and making enough noise while doing so to wake me from sleep. I went to the living room to see what they were into and found they had apparently knocked over an aerosol can and gotten the button stuck as I could hear the compressed air escaping from it. Before I moved the paper bags to get to the can I noticed it sounded more like someone on a respirator than the hissing of a spray can. This does not sound good. I have no gas pipes in that part of the house, or water pipes either so it isn't a leak. No longer the stupidly fearless woman who took on the owl, I picked up a large umbrella which was standing in the corner and used it to move the papers. I can see no aerosol can or anything else there, but the respiration noise continues. Moving the umbrella around under a coffee table size piece of furniture in the corner I disrupt the noise. This can't be good. I go to the bedroom and put on long pants and a pair of hiking boots, come back to the living room and the sound is still there. Its source turns out to be a snake of some kind. Just what you want to find in your living room at 12:30am. Next problem: How do I get rid of it? The vacuum sweeper was standing nearby so I wheeled it into the area and shoved it under the furniture. Nasty creature attacked the appliance. Obviously need another plan of attack. Broom? Maneuvered it out into the open with the broom handle. Damn cats just stand around with their hackles raised watching this whole incident. No help from them. If my heart ever finally slows to a normal rate I must remember to cut down their rations. The creature has no rattles and appears to be a bull snake. I don't like those things, but when I come across them outside I generally let them go their own way. Not the case in the house. I whacked it repeatedly with the broom handle as it slithered (fortunately) toward the door until it was no longer moving. Grabbed the umbrella with the big poker on the end and lifted the stunned (but I'm sure not dead--nothing scary ever dies simply around here) snake and opened the screen door and tossed him outside on the porch where he laid upside down still not moving. I feel things crawling all over me now. It was a medium sized snake, not nearly as large as the one who lived in the orchard (although I would have sworn when it was slithering that it must have been about 10 feet long). As I sit here I ponder how it got into the house. In a box of vegetables I brought in from somewhere else? Slithered in before I had the screen door installed when people (grand nieces and nephews notoriously) failed to close the front door? Where has it been until tonight? Are there more of them? So as you can see, sleep is not in my immediate future. But I guess I'll try to get some sleep...hopefully all the creatures in the bedroom will be invited ones. Stay well, be happy. Love, Aunt Jo By the way, the snake was not on the porch the following morning. I don't know if it slithered away on its own power or if something came and helped it out of the area.